Wherefore art thou, Romero?
So things are mad, as ever. For anyone I haven’t told about this, I am about to sign the contract for my first book which is due to be published next year. Which of course means at some point I have to finish writing the damn thing. It’s a thriller, or at least has the potential to be, and the second one, if I get asked to write it, will be a horror, the kind that’ll put you right off your pudding.
In other news, I wangled a pass for the International film festival and so have a ten day schedule of screenings that would make a lesser mortal weep. That lesser mortal is me. Around three features a day (relatively easy going for a festival – it can be anything up to 6) that leaves time in between to go to the videotheque and watch as many tapes as possible, as they stock a copy of every UK production or co-production from the last year, features and shorts.
On the big screen I’ve seen some animation (which was ok but all of it not as recent as I expected from Mirrorball) and yesterday saw the new Alex de la Iglesia movie FERPECT CRIME. I love his work anyway (Day of the Beast, Accion Mutante, the sublime La Communidad) and this one although not the sickest thing he’s ever made, is definitely worth seeing.
Today I went to the Neil Gaiman-scripted MIRRORMASK from Dave McKean which is really gorgeous. Very lush, magical and ultimately sweet, it made me cry (twice) and the rest of the time I was in awe at just how beautiful and inventive it was. Aimed, I think, at arty 12 year olds, it’s a lovely film, and quite definitely a big-screen experience.
Second up today was the unutterably shite LAND OF THE DEAD which – even though I wasn’t expecting much – still managed to disappoint me.
I guess that most horror fans have got used to dealing with the fact that many of the directors responsible for making us fall in love with the genre in the first place seem to have lost it. Romero was basically the last great hope for someone to prove that even 30 years on, they could still deliver the goods. Sadly he has failed so spectacularly that although it's tempting to say I hated the movie (I did) and that it was bloody awful (it was), the truth is that it's embarrassing to see such a public declaration of ineptitude from one considered to be a master of the genre.
Bored and insulted most of the way through, I survived an appalling soundtrack, pedestrian and tedious cinematography and dialogue worthy of Pearl Harbour. Add to that a total dearth of characterisation, a plethora of non-sequitur one-liners, racial slurs and morally dubious imagery and the only consistency you have is just how dire it's possible for a film to be.
On a happy note, it seems that George Miller recouped some of his losses by selling Romero the set (and cast and plot) for Mad Max 4, and the rest of the film is chunks of Escape from New York with added Damnation Alley.
We all know the usual trite drivel spouted in zombie flicks about how they come back to life and shuffle through the motions of whatever they used to do when they were living. I buy that. But ironically, it seems to also prove that Romero died decades ago, and this movie is simply his reanimated corpse playing at being a director.
The film uses fireworks to distract the zombies, as they seem unable to tear their eyes from them, allowing the living to get away and it's no major leap of logic to see that the film fits just that profile - it's a piece of commercial product aimed squarely at 14 year olds who wouldn't know a good genre film if it ripped their jugular out, and who just need something flickering and pretty to stare at for a couple of hours. Maybe that's the incisive social comment that I was told to expect...
But for anyone who loves horror and remembers the awesome cool of Night of the Living Dead, there is nothing here for us. It's not as if it had redeeming features that left me willing to find ways to balance the good and bad - there are none, save the end credits - and it never gets so bad it's good again. I'm not going to tear it apart scene by scene (all the people I saw it with today have been doing that since noon...) but it's entirely devoid of suspense, drama and humour, and with cliched second rate effects, I just can't think why anyone would rate this, unless it was in some deluded fanboy fit of Romero ass-kissing.
There were just too many moments when I expected the Team America puppets to pop up and scream FUCK YEAH!! Trust me - when John Leguizamo's character ChoLo announces his plan to go get the big bad dude, he says 'I'm gonna do a jihad up his ass.'
After that (and some coffee and recovery time) I went to see TICKETS which tried hard but is a mess of an anthology movie, it’s delicate, touching moments overshadowed by schizophrenic pacing, mismatched stories and weak writing.
Perhaps doing all this the morning after the opening party (nothing quite like three hours unconscious before facing a day of films) wasn’t the smartest move, but it was a fun party :)
Tomorrow starts with FRANKIE about the mental downfall of a model, then FATELESS, a Holocaust drama and rounds off with THE ARISTOCRATS. A bizzare day's watching if ever there was one :)
In other news, I wangled a pass for the International film festival and so have a ten day schedule of screenings that would make a lesser mortal weep. That lesser mortal is me. Around three features a day (relatively easy going for a festival – it can be anything up to 6) that leaves time in between to go to the videotheque and watch as many tapes as possible, as they stock a copy of every UK production or co-production from the last year, features and shorts.
On the big screen I’ve seen some animation (which was ok but all of it not as recent as I expected from Mirrorball) and yesterday saw the new Alex de la Iglesia movie FERPECT CRIME. I love his work anyway (Day of the Beast, Accion Mutante, the sublime La Communidad) and this one although not the sickest thing he’s ever made, is definitely worth seeing.
Today I went to the Neil Gaiman-scripted MIRRORMASK from Dave McKean which is really gorgeous. Very lush, magical and ultimately sweet, it made me cry (twice) and the rest of the time I was in awe at just how beautiful and inventive it was. Aimed, I think, at arty 12 year olds, it’s a lovely film, and quite definitely a big-screen experience.
Second up today was the unutterably shite LAND OF THE DEAD which – even though I wasn’t expecting much – still managed to disappoint me.
I guess that most horror fans have got used to dealing with the fact that many of the directors responsible for making us fall in love with the genre in the first place seem to have lost it. Romero was basically the last great hope for someone to prove that even 30 years on, they could still deliver the goods. Sadly he has failed so spectacularly that although it's tempting to say I hated the movie (I did) and that it was bloody awful (it was), the truth is that it's embarrassing to see such a public declaration of ineptitude from one considered to be a master of the genre.
Bored and insulted most of the way through, I survived an appalling soundtrack, pedestrian and tedious cinematography and dialogue worthy of Pearl Harbour. Add to that a total dearth of characterisation, a plethora of non-sequitur one-liners, racial slurs and morally dubious imagery and the only consistency you have is just how dire it's possible for a film to be.
On a happy note, it seems that George Miller recouped some of his losses by selling Romero the set (and cast and plot) for Mad Max 4, and the rest of the film is chunks of Escape from New York with added Damnation Alley.
We all know the usual trite drivel spouted in zombie flicks about how they come back to life and shuffle through the motions of whatever they used to do when they were living. I buy that. But ironically, it seems to also prove that Romero died decades ago, and this movie is simply his reanimated corpse playing at being a director.
The film uses fireworks to distract the zombies, as they seem unable to tear their eyes from them, allowing the living to get away and it's no major leap of logic to see that the film fits just that profile - it's a piece of commercial product aimed squarely at 14 year olds who wouldn't know a good genre film if it ripped their jugular out, and who just need something flickering and pretty to stare at for a couple of hours. Maybe that's the incisive social comment that I was told to expect...
But for anyone who loves horror and remembers the awesome cool of Night of the Living Dead, there is nothing here for us. It's not as if it had redeeming features that left me willing to find ways to balance the good and bad - there are none, save the end credits - and it never gets so bad it's good again. I'm not going to tear it apart scene by scene (all the people I saw it with today have been doing that since noon...) but it's entirely devoid of suspense, drama and humour, and with cliched second rate effects, I just can't think why anyone would rate this, unless it was in some deluded fanboy fit of Romero ass-kissing.
There were just too many moments when I expected the Team America puppets to pop up and scream FUCK YEAH!! Trust me - when John Leguizamo's character ChoLo announces his plan to go get the big bad dude, he says 'I'm gonna do a jihad up his ass.'
After that (and some coffee and recovery time) I went to see TICKETS which tried hard but is a mess of an anthology movie, it’s delicate, touching moments overshadowed by schizophrenic pacing, mismatched stories and weak writing.
Perhaps doing all this the morning after the opening party (nothing quite like three hours unconscious before facing a day of films) wasn’t the smartest move, but it was a fun party :)
Tomorrow starts with FRANKIE about the mental downfall of a model, then FATELESS, a Holocaust drama and rounds off with THE ARISTOCRATS. A bizzare day's watching if ever there was one :)
posted by Adele at 7:41 pm
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